Unplanted Seed

I have been in the US settling in for over two months now. I moved here and left my beloved career in the UAE to build a new exciting life with my family. I couldn't say it has always been my dream to grow old and have a family of my own. Call me crazy or even a hypocrite but in all honesty, I really did not. But here I am, as lucky as I can be, provided with one -- a loving happy family.

My husband and I were blessed enough to plant a seed made of love in just a short period of time. I remember how ecstatic I was when I saw positive signs from the two home pregnancy test I purchased. Immediately that morning when my husband woke up, I informed him about this good news. His face (which is quite groggy because of sleep intoxication) beamed and you can spot traces of happiness all around.

Then the usual routine came all along: finding a good OB/GYN around, minimizing coffee intake, being careful with all house activities, reading, meditating, and so on.

We then scheduled for the first visit with the OB/GYN to have an accurate feedback and a verification of our pregnancy. After some random urine and blood tests, it was finally confirmed and we were told we're pregnant at 6 weeks. Yey! With all these news, I was sent out pamphlets about hospital rules and some pregnancy information. I started to take pre-natal meds prescribed by my doctor and was scheduled for initial ultrasound after two weeks. In short, I lived the normal pregnant life. It wasn't my first time to be in this kind of situation as I already have a 9-year old daughter. But this time seems to feel a bit strange as I've been intermittently experiencing some light spotting though I don't feel any kind of pain. As researchers by heart, my husband and I kept on reading some articles or medical reviews and forums that relates to what I'm experiencing. Most write-ups are kind of reassuring as most pregnant women experience some light spotting in their first trimester. Basically, neither of those we have read are good nor bad. And so, anxiously, we just waited for the scheduled ultrasound and wiped off those negative thoughts from our heads.

Two weeks passed by, it's ultrasound time -- and this is where my world just start to shatter. I went through trans-vaginal ultrasound and by looking at the monitor, I started to feel uneasy. When I opened a conversation asking where's the baby, the nurse conducting the ultrasound seemed to be tight-lipped while the other supporting nurse has a blank face. Once it's done, the nurse informed me that my doctor will be with me shortly and apologized that he was ordered not to say anything.

I can feel that something is just plainly wrong but we still held our hopes so high. Then we were called by our OB and that's when she explained that she's so worried about me and that she cannot seem to find any fetus in my uterus -- which is kind of weird knowing I'm already in my 8th week. My hcg level is extremely high, higher than the normal range of hcg for an 8-week pregnant. Placenta is in place but there isn't just any seed of life in there. She suspected of a molar pregnancy as she found some grape-like thingy in my uterus. Molar pregnancy in layman's term is an undeveloped fetus. Instead of a normal fertilization, what's developing in the woman's uterus is some cluster of abnormal tissue that are grape-like. It is said to be rare, only 1 out of 1,000 women experience this.

With this shocking result, I became unstoppable and started to ask gazillion of questions but then I ended up sobbing. I just couldn't believe this is happening! With all the physical and emotional changes that I've been through. After accepting the fact that this is the right time to add sunshine to our lives. We were denied of it. And oh, what's worst is that according to the unusual lab results, I am still pregnant and so my OB, without any hesitation, discussed and advised that I should go for a D&C (dilation and curettage) surgery. It is a procedure to remove some tissue in your uterus, avoiding any possible infection or cancer threats, and of course, to really figure out why such thing happened to me. Since I'm still continuously spotting, there isn't really any choice for me but to say yes for this surgery.

I guess life is just like that. We can never choose what should happen to our lives. As we wait for my OB to finalize the schedule of my surgery, here we are mourning and trying to accept this pain-in-the-soul situation.

Au Revoir Sandpit!

I'm done with packing and now all set.

I mean, this is it -- my last few hours day in sandpit. I would be hypocrite to say I'm ready. Physically, yes but emotionally, maybe or maybe not. It's not that I don't want to leave. I'm itching to leave and actually have all the reasons to leave. As much as I love and have been attached with Abu Dhabi, particularly with my job, sadly, I have to move on. I guess nothing really lasts forever. Eventually, esp for the sake of our own growth and happiness, we have to make the right decisions in life. Decisions that would put your family first above anything else.

Sandpit has been good to me. I remember perfectly when I first set foot in UAE -- I was full of ambition, courage, and hope. There sure are loads of hurdles, but these hurdles shaped me, sorta defines who I am today. I wouldn't change a single thing as all experiences, good and bad, are definitely worth it!

I will miss my studio apartment... err prolly not! I will miss walking along Corniche. I will miss calling Baqala. I will miss getting pissed because of bad apartment maintenance. I will miss attending concerts with few audience. I will miss hearing prayer call 5x a day everyday. I will miss driving along nice roads. I will miss Maroosh. I will miss the rotisserie kind-of-heat during summer. I will miss PJs and Coopers. I will miss 12am food delivery calls. I will miss my office, my my... I have such an amazing messy office! I will miss my friends. List goes on and on.

Anyway, as I contemplate, watch the clock, and prepare myself to bid adieu for now (without weeping, of course not!), I just want to share how thankful I am for such an amazing journey sandpit has given. I will forever cherish all those sweet and bitter moments deep in my heart. This will be my last blog from the UAE. I'm out!

x

Xioms' First in Sandpit!

It was almost five years ago when I came to Abu Dhabi, UAE (aka sandpit) to search for better opportunities. I cannot say it was a hard battle, actually, I was lucky enough to find a decent, good-paying job at a university. The only thing that's keeping me to be completely happy is living far away from my kiddo. Given the fact that communication nowadays are quite easy, it's still hard to be away with your most precious possession in life. But I sucked it all up as they say, "for the benefit of your child's future".

Indeed it was a good benefit as I was able to provide Xioms whatever she needs in life, even extra ones that usual kids can't have, and have Xioms enrolled in a good school. I always thought of bringing her here to see how I have been living my life and for her to realize (in some sort of a way) that life ain't like a piece of cake. I'm not one of those OFWs who have miserable lives and are being brutally managed by their employers, but I want to show and teach my kiddo, as early as now, how I am excelling at work and how patient and honest I am to earn money to get all the things she needs so she'll be proud of me and appreciate all tangible and intangible things even more.

Anyway, at first I have never imagined I would be able to bring Xioms in sandpit even for just a vacation. I have the means, don't get me wrong, but I always think that it's better to save it for future emergency needs. But there was this one person who made me realize that money is not everything. The longer I have been living outside Philippines is the amount of time I already missed seeing and knowing my child. Although I always come home at least once or twice a year, it's still different! And the fact that I have the power and means of having her here, even for a short period of time, I shouldn't have any excuses at all! Money comes and goes which isn't really that important, the one that has great significant value of all is the quality time you could spend with your loved ones.

And so hurriedly I processed all Xioms' (and Mom's) documents and have them flew over and they stayed here for a month :) Documented pics are all here and the below is my most favorite one.

Stoked at Dubai Mall's Aquarium

Toodles!

Eid Experience

If you ask Google, it'll tell you that Eid ul-Fitr is a three-day Muslim holiday. I'm not a Muslim, hell no but since am currently working in a Muslim country, I have the privilege to enjoy this kind of holiday. Anyway, me and my hommies decided to go to Fujairah which is one of the seven emirates of UAE. Twas a four-hour drive from Abu Dhabi and I tell you, it's worth it. Lots of amazing sceneries out there. It's more of a nature tripping I must say.

We booked a night stay in Al Diar Siji Hotel and we had a beautiful view of the sea from our room. How cool is that? Well, we never enjoyed the beach to be quite honest as it was jam-packed! So we filled our entire time road tripping, not to mention climbing a rock mountain for photo opp.

postcard

the rock

So there. Not bad for my first ever Eid holiday in Sandpit.

PS Thank you my lovely friends. You all never fail to keep me company: Yatz, Chie, Kathe, Dantley and Pat.

Acts of Evil

Don't be a hypocrite! Am sure all of us have done some evilness once in our lives. Big or small, it's the same. It shows that none of us is perfect.

As promised, I'll tell everything about what happened on my roller coaster journey here at sandpit. So here goes.

The moment I came back to the Philippines was like a hell. Don't get me wrong. The word hell here is only in relation to my documents. I never thought that I'll be able to enter UAE again and have this job, but I'm a lady with full of hopes in life. Money matters, that I won't lie. Sad to say but it's true that money is power. Anyway, I endure more than a month, as a jobless ass in Manila. There was a point that I am giving up and planning to be in my home country for good. You see, all my papers were authentic and okay though my contract lacks attestation from our own labor office in Abu Dhabi. I've elaborated everything about this in Episode 6.

Good news is, there's someone in Abu Dhabi University (ADU) who knows someone in the Philippines who can help me. I call this person, the mogul. My colleague told me to contact this mogul as soon as I arrive Manila and tell everything about my case. He sounds like a very powerful man, I thought. So, I contacted this mogul and discuss things. Things that you can only see in movies. Anyway, the main point is me leaving the Philippines with fake and original docs. Fake ones for the PHI Immigration and originals for AUH Immigration. So, how much? I have to say, a lot of cash. If you insist, throw me a mail and I'll elaborate further.

My first meeting with mogul was quite scary and full of skepticism. I just thought this is the only way and I really need to gamble. I never got the mogul's full name, where he lives, what 's his job and so on. I went home with nothing but trust in my pocket.

One day before my departure is our second meeting. This is the schedule he gave me for my PDOS. He gave me my referral form, there I saw that I've got an agency in Manila and my employer in Abu Dhabi is different. I tried searching for it in Google and found out it doesn't really exist. So I attended the half day boring seminar just to have my certificate.

On the departure day itself, I arrived NAIA earlier than expected, as I've said. This is my third and last meeting with the mogul. We had some short briefing then he gave me my papers. I was never surprised on how good Filipinos in forgery. What sickened me is the idea of passing through the whole airport process. But of course, twas a success. Unbelievably no sweat! It's why I'm here sharing you this story. One thing I remember the mogul used to tell me: All persons working at NAIA airport have their own tag price in their heads. TRUE, with my own experience.

Moral lesson? I couldn't think of any good so far but this I tell you, never ever exit in the Philippines if you're planning to work abroad. Our government sucks from head to toe and for that, I am not a proud Filipino.

Daily Routine

As I've decided to relocate, I prepared myself of the consequences that I might embrace but the least I thought of or should I say, I never thought of is the daily routine that I would be facing.

In Abu Dhabi, I am living with my 4 or 6 mates in a flat. You prolly wonder why I said 4 or 6. Originally, we are 5 at home but one friend is out as of the moment because her family just arrived from the Philippines so she preferred staying at her sister's flat, a more convenient place I dare say. Another friend used to stay with us though it was only during weekends, he has his own accommodation near his office. So to make things clearer, we are 4 in the house right now.

Flats here in UAE is no joke. The best example is ours. Apart from its valuable price, it doesn't have an attached bathroom. You see, in a building there were different floors, right? Each floor contains 2 or 3 main doors. As you enter the main door, there were about 3 more doors. These doors are called flats. One master room which includes its own bathroom; one cafe which practically can occupy up to 10 heads; and one bedroom which can occupy 3 or 4 heads. These three doors inside that main door I was telling you shares the same kitchen and if you're lucky enough, the common room which in our case, we don't own. What else... Ahhh... how could I ever forget the shared bathroom of the cafe room and the bed room.

Since I am a newbie in this flat hell, I don't have the right to pick what time should I take a bath. Yes, you heard read it right! Taking a bath is scheduled. Mine was 4:30am and what made this irritating is that my office hours is from 9am to 6pm. So, I will be picked up by my service at around 8am. Come to think of it, by 5am I'm all cleaned up though I have to wait until 8am for my service to arrive. Imagine the wasted hours just because of that stupid shared bathroom! I could still add it up on my sleeping hours for goodness' sake!

This is the reason why we pushed ourselves to find a new flat with attached bathroom. Luckily, we found one though its price is much higher. Oh anyway, we got the largest room plus we finally have our own bathroom AND balcony is a jackpot! =)

Well, bathroom is not the only hassle of my life in Abu Dhabi. My trip to and from office was hell as the shared bathroom. Home to work is like a 30 to 45-minute drive not including the nerve-wrecking traffic. My service is a long van. It picks up/drops 10 people everyday. My place is the first pick up point so that means I am the last drop. I usually got home 8pm the latest.

So to summarise, I wake up 4:30am just to take a bath.. and I'll be home by 8pm from work. Security guards are in no match with my fucking schedule. Btw, this routine lasted for two weeks only. Thank God we transferred to our new home. Wake up call was changed to 7am and bathroom was all mine by then.


Hayyyy... life in UAE.

Epidose 2

I can definitely say that these past days and weeks are the most boring days and weeks of my life. Sure am going here and there to have some fun but you see, this is my first time of being a huge ass bum since I graduated from college. I'm not into it and this is sooo not me! I always thought that this would be easy, just a piece of cake. Well, reality check, it's not! Fucking depressing!

There was this huge construction company that I really like to work for, problem is, they can't raise the salary. Come on, I shouldn't have left my previous job if this is the only thing here! Deadline's until next week for me to decide and it's a no-brainer. I mean, HELL NO!

Anyway, have I told you that I'm like a ping pong ball? Been travelling Dubai and Abu Dhabi back and forth for some interviews. I personally love Abu Dhabi. Why? Because I think there's less temptation there. It's more of a relaxed and laid back type of place to live in. Dubai has loads of beautiful places to go and hangout to, no doubt about that, but if you think about it, it's more of an outflow of money. Not good.

Hayyyy... life in UAE. I wish to have some more action rather than just sitting here at home gaining weight and doing nothing. Ugh! Speaking of weight, got to go to the gym and do some cardio. So, toodles!

x

Episode 1

It's been a long time since I last posted. Been busy searching for the right path you know. This past month was like a roller coaster ride. There are times that I wanted to blog but there's really nothing special to write or share about. I have also been moody these days. Still anxiously waiting and trying my luck to find a decent job. Sometimes I feel like I am about to break but day by day, I am learning to embrace everything that is thrown at me.

It's hard to leave everything back home but it's a choice, my choice. I personally love challenges and I guess, this is one of the biggest that I have to fight for or at least to prove to myself I am worthy of this choice. Sounds corny eh? But what can I say? It's true. I believe that one day, I can tell myself "I've done almost everything I wanted to do and so I am now ready to die." Well, actually not. Haha.

Now, am still here in a beautiful yet very hot place called Dubai. If I will say UAE, I don't think my limited readers would relate. Everyone thought of Dubai as a country and if you are one, you're dead wrong. Dubai is just one of the seven Emirates that makes UAE a country. Anyway, I've been here for a month and a half now. And yes, my skin's now dry, got blisters on my lower lip and hair fall never ends. But it's okay, I still like UAE.

For the past month, I've been into numerous interviews: one-on-one, telephone, panel, name it! But I haven't seen the job that I really want. I have some concerns most of the time regarding the salary package, the contract and even the boss itself. If I could just elaborate my experience with a local here, I would but I don't want to waste my brain thinking of that event in my life. Let's just say, there's one particular moment that made me more stronger and wiser.

You might or might not be curious but I have two good reasons why I landed here: JOB and TAX. I heard some stories that it's so easy to get a job here. Like when you snap your finger, job's right there. This may be true and really false. True for those idiots who will grab anything just to say "they have a job" and false for those who act, think and choose the right one according to their area of expertise and of course experience. You see, there are loads of jobs here but the question is, is it the right/best one for you? In terms of tax, I assume we are all aware that this is a tax-free country, right? Need I say more?

Anyhoo, a month or so has passed and still, I am a loser jobless bitch. I can't even sleep at night and my self esteem is decreasing almost everyday. I sometimes ask myself, did I just throw everything that's already in my hands? You know, I am just so lucky being surrounded by beautiful people. They're the ones who make sure I keep my sanity. 

So, I'm now running out. More senseless stories in a few days or maybe weeks. Wish me luck on my job hunting!

x

DXB

Never thought of stepping my feet on UAE soil but now here I am, trying to enjoy every second of it. It's hard to leave families and friends but that's the way life is. It's hard to explain but I'm pretty sure you know what I'm saying.

Anyway, I was all prepared -- financially and emotionally. I've got high hopes being here but most importantly, I have a plan. But before that drama I want to throw out everything that happened to me before arriving Dubai.

It seemed pretty easy on me but that wasn't always the case, okay. I'm doing this for the sake of those people who wants to go here so they'll at least have an idea. As what would everyone say, I decided to go here for better opportunities. So I fixed all my documents and within a month, I got all the results. I have a friend working in Dubai who helped with my visa and ticket processing. The only thing that I'll be thinking about is on how to pass through those immigration officers in Manila. Immigration officers in the UAE are more lenient (as long as you have all legit documents of course) so I don't need to be worried about that.

April 28, my departure date. I arrived in NAIA three hours before my flight schedule. First thing you need to do is to have your visa scanned for authenticity then off you go to check in your baggage. I couldn't stress more on the fact that checking in online a day before your flight is pretty helpful. You will benefit by not queuing from those long lines at the airport as there are specific counters for online/web check-in. Oh before I forgot, pay the freaking terminal fees first before checking in your baggage. You need that receipt enable for you to check in your baggage. So after checking in your baggage, you will be given your boarding pass (don't forget to ask for a departure card, you'll need that at the Immigration counter), then you can now go straight to the Immigration. This is the last step before you board a plane. Some say go to a line which you think will let you pass easily but who can tell, right? Anyway, I picked on the most snob-looking immigration officer and when it was my turn, she asked for my passport, boarding pass, and departure card. She looked at me then to my papers and asked, "Why are you going to Dubai? What's your purpose?" I calmly said, "Just visiting a friend." Then she asked for my visa and return ticket. She then asked, "Who is Elaine Cruz?" I told her she was a friend and that's it. She stamped my passport and gave it back to me. I exhaled deeply. I thought that wasn't hard and I'm lucky. There are some people who have been going back and forth in different lanes yet they've always been denied. I overheard one of the immigration officer telling the other officer, "Pabayaan mo silang magpabalik balik diyan. Maghahanap lang ng trabaho yang mga yan sa ibang bansa." In English, "Let them go back and forth. They're just going to find a job outside Philippines." Honestly, I felt angry. I understand that it was part of their so called "job" to make sure every Filipino citizen will always be on safety but can't you just let them pass? I mean, most of them are in the right age and it's up to that person whatever he/she will do to whatever country he'll/she'll be in. They have visa, they have passport, what else do you fucking want? Gah! Anyway...

So, I waited for boarding for almost two hours. My flight was delayed, what's new? Eventually, I boarded a Boeing 777 Emirates Airlines' plane and it was freaking huge. The whole trip was about nine hours straight. When we reached Dubai, we did not land that instant. The pilot said that they're experiencing traffic. I was like, "Traffic on air? WTF?" We've been circling around for like 30 minutes and then we landed.. safely.

I was so stoked upon entering the Dubai airport. T'was huge and clean and seem to be very organised -- well, compared to NAIA for sure! Oh, here's another tip, don't ever wear heels! I was wearing my new stilettos and never thought that I would be having a verrrrrry long walk inside Dubai airport. Anyhow, before the immigration officer, you will do the eye scan. I dunno what the purpose is but it's their protocol here. After that, go straight to the immigration officer. When it was my turn, the Arab officer greeted me "Kamusta?" which is basically "Hi" in my own language. So I told him, "Mabuti." which is "Fine." He asked for my passport and visa, typed something on his computer then stamped my passport. And that was it. No questions asked. This is when I realized Filipinos are more strict when it comes to the immigration thingy and I wonder why. When I passed through the immigration, I immediately saw and got my baggage. Then I got out of the airport and my friend was already there waiting for me. =)

It's 2AM when I arrived and I can feel the heat from this place. I really am in Dubai now.

x