Should I Stay or Should I Go

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

The ultimate question. Bleah!

Why do I always get myself in these kinds of crrraaazzzyyyy situations? Arrgghhh.

Well, I was intended to go yet another part of me wants to JUST stay.

I wouldn't bother to explain why I don't want to join this shittiness. I have numerous reasons!!! I was sooo decided already but then, this effing douche bag will... uhm... Darn it!

It wasn't about the other earthlings I will be with, am used to that. It was the fact that I want to enjoy, relax and chill -- away from the harsh reality and away from being an amanuensis.

Haaay Pitz... Be strong and firm. You've decided already. Don't start having doubts now. Focus. Focus. And according to Yaleyna, consider the 785 pesoses. Kaching! Kaching!

It's just a moment. I got a period. Why do you care?

Good Ol' Days

Borgy and Joy were two of my closest friends during high school. I've known Joy since grade school and Borgy in secondary. I was shocked when Borgy sent me a message at FB. It's been like forever since we last spoke. So we planned of get-together thingy. I immediately informed Joy and it was all set.

April 25 indeed. I wasn't so surprised when I got to High Street early. Those guys were always late. Joy finally arrived and we started chatting -- I have last seen her in about 2 or 3 years. We have decided to wait for Borgy who's blaming the weather as the cause of his delay. Finally, after 1.5 hours of waiting, he arrived. Tssss...

After we had our dinner at Abe, we went to Starbucks to have some coffee and well... of course to chill and to chew some fat. We reminisced, ridiculed our teachers way back, thought of our enemies -- if they're still alive, tried remembering the names of the bullied ones and all those kind of stuff. Then we shifted to our personal lives, our work, our family... our kids. It was so much fun. It's like there's no tomorrow for our own stories. Talk about 8 or 10 years??? -- that would be A LOT.

It was hard to end the day but we have to, we've got our own priorities now and for goodness sake, it's almost 2am. But we promised that we'll meet often just to make ourselves updated with each other. And I like that... I would love that because those 2 freakazoids were true, proven and tested friends. I love you guys!

at Abe while waiting for our dinner

xoxo

Puerto Galera Escapade

T'was my niece's 15th birthday and since it's still summer, she wanted to go celebrate at the beach. She chose Puerto Galera because (1) she's never been there; (2) she's tired of Batangas, Laguna or Quezon beaches; and (3) she's so curious about the henna thing. Konek?

Anyhoo, I was pretty excited for Xioms because most of the experiences were her FIRSTs. First time to ride a bus, first time to ride a boat, first at Mindoro, first time to chew Bonamine, first time to have a henna tatt... etc. -- like I said all her firsts.

So we woke up early to avoid strong sea waves and reached Batangas pier so fast. But I'm a bit paranoid the whole time thinking Xioms might throw up. Thank goodness she didn't! When we jumped into the boat, everyone were super excited, well, except me. Don't get me wrong here, I know how to swim but the fact that Xioms is with me, with the thalassophobic me, and oh my lovely stuff... ugh such a torture! Looking on the bright side though, it'll be just 30 minutes and I saw a happy giggling kiddo beside me.

Am close to a nervous breakdown when we finally arrived. The beach was so crowded -- what would you expect? At first I was like, there's nothing so special about this place but I realized that the place was ok, somewhat interesting. Why? Well, I just want to say interesting - yeah boring!

Here are some pics...

Sey, Nicole, me

my odd henna

Got inked, fake ink! Haha

family pic -- wacky one!

bday girl

with baby girl

One thing I learned from this trip -- enjoyment overpowers fear (of course with lots of prayers in between). Ta-ta!

Fuck the World

I feel numb today. Come to think of it: we've got no work, I feel like I'm in a fridge because it's fucking cold, I keep on forcing myself to do the Measure Up but all I want to do is surf the net and reply to Elena's e-mails (though we're just a feet away). Such a boring day! But you know, this chosen state of mind brought Elena to create her masterpiece. And here it goes... *ehem*

Talking to Myself

Sitting in the office, got no work to do
Decided to write something out of the blue
I remembered, "hey gotta finish this evaluation thing"
Then, I said to myself, "Lena, there's always tomorrow"
"Do nothing just go with the flow…"

Yes, tomorrow is the operative word of fools
Who loves to procrastinate and say,
Tomorrow is a new day! Hurraayy!
Who am I kidding, I don’t even know what tomorrow might bring?

So I said to myself, "Do it!"
But I just can't start it.
Just type something - anything!
And click finish, that's it.

Isn't it the best poem from a person who lacks interest which causes mental weariness? I love you dear Lena, you actually made my day, but still am bored. Gotta go puff Marl now, as in NOW!

Patience, Pitz... Patience

Today was a very horrifying day. I'm afraid that he got it all wrong. It was never my intention to screw him over but it turned out I did. I almost lost my temper. I never get angry easily but this incident, this very fucking incident, I'm very close of killing someone. It felt like I'm in fury and intense rage. I felt abused with his stoned hyper lucid stare. And damn, his facial expression curved from blank indifference to supreme paranoia. I even cried shakily because I hold back my anger... which in the end, I'm happy I did.

I won't jot down what really happened but for me, it was a nightmare. I am not cleaning up my ass here or anything but obviously and unmistakably, I did nothing wrong. I actually believe that he's such a stupid jealous bastard trying to ruin and drag me down. It's sad for me to say that I am utterly disappointed, I thought he was a friend -- a good friend.

Fighting back is a perfect idiotic idea and besides, it's holy week, I should acknowledge repentance. Thank you Lord for giving me more patience, I owe you that.

Home Alone

Last weekend my family went to Baguio while Xioms and my ass were stuck at home. Yeah, sad to say we're home alone. I really wanted to go but I don't think Xioms will be comfy travelling 6-7 hours. So I decided we'll stay and bond.

Saturday's itinerary - nada! We just enjoyed the quiet house, ordered some food to eat and watched the stupid purple dinosaur show -- what's funny is that even though Xioms have watched it like a hundred times, she still managed to have the same reaction! She always always always cries whenever Barney's gonna leave and say goodbye (some sort of an episode ending) Haha!

The next day, Sunday indeed! I promised Xioms that I'll take her to a movie house. Since she loved B.O.B. of Monsters vs. Aliens, we watched that. At first, she doesn't want to enter the movie house and I was thinking oh yeah, a kid would be like "it's dark here and there might be monsters around", but when I told her that B.O.B. is inside, she finally said um-um which is basically a green signal. Whew! I thought she's gonna cry hard and we will end up going home.

Movie's funny with those stupid aliens and of course B.O.B. which has Seth Rogen's voice. I'm a fan of his because he always plays a moronic character which really suites him. hehe... Anyway, Xioms enjoyed the film as she keeps on saying Bahh (Bob) and Coroach (Dr. Cockroach) on our way home.

We went home quarter to 9 and kiddo was sooo sleepy. After all the cleaning, I immediately put her into sleep. As for me: I went downstairs, sip on half a goblet of red wine, puff Marl and turned the TV on while waiting for my family's arrival. So that's it, one of the precious weekend of mine. Cheers!

xo