Unspecified Hydatidiform Mole

I'm currently over a week recuperating from a dilation and curettage (D&C) surgery. It was actually my first time to go under any sort of surgery and I now feel a bit better, physically at least.

It was just a week ago when I was allegedly diagnosed of a molar pregnancy. It was a shocking experience but my husband and I are trying our best to accept and embrace this fate of life. Maybe it wasn't really meant to be this time.

The surgery was scheduled on the 12th of September. Although I was assured that I neither would feel anything nor even see what's gonna happen, oh boy, it feels so daunting! I wouldn't say I'm a scared rat, in fact, my tolerance for pain is so high but the fact that I would be under general anesthesia - it scares the hell out of me. I feel powerless and not in control! But heck, I don't have any other choice anyway! I don't want to end up regretting of not feeling safe and healthy later on and besides, I'm in the facility with the best doctors in the world.

I've used up my little time to research about the surgery procedure, its risks, and its aftermath. Doing this will make me a bit comfortable and ready. So the surgery day came and I was taken care of really well. It was actually a short procedure (less than an hour) and I was able to head home (with my husband's help of course!) after being in the hospital for more or less 5 hours. Waiting period is the worst part actually. This is the time where all negative scenarios seeps into someone's head. I was lucky enough to have my husband around the whole time. He's the best husband ever! But I have this feeling that he's more nervous than I am although he's not showing it.

I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 9AM and I remember perfectly that I wasn't injected any anesthesia until almost 11AM. The only thing I remembered before passing out are those numerous surgical lighting system above me and those two nurses asking me ridiculous questions about my time in Abu Dhabi.

When I woke up, I saw this nurse beside me, checking some of those apparatus around. I feel so cold and my throat is so sore. I asked where I was and the nurse told me that I'm now in the recovery room. She knew I was cold and asked whether I wanted to have additional blanket on top of the two that are already in place. I said yes and she wrapped me with a thick warm one. After few more minutes, the nurse asked random questions like when is my birthday and then moved me back to the main room where I was initially. I saw my husband and his face looked relieved. The nurse asked me if I wanted a drink. She even offered me a Sprite. I never liked Sprite but I asked for it. Then she told me that I can be out of my gown and could change clothes whenever I feel I can and that she'll be back to bring me my Sprite. Eventually, I changed clothes (with my husband's help of course) and I've never felt so weak and confused at the same time at that moment. I feel groggy but I know what I'm doing. When the nurse came back, she has a wheelchair with her. At first, I'm skeptical to ride it. I told her I can walk but she didn't allow me. I guess it's standard procedure so I just complied with some sort of hesitation.

Then we're home and that's the start of the most unproductive week of my life. I had felt an intense cramping pain that night but other than that, I was lucky to feel minor tolerable cramps after. My OB prescribed me the best meds to relieve such pain! I was in a complete bed rest for at least a week and have been eating hearty soups and crackers (and peanut butter milkshakes) all the time. These days suck but I needed them to fully recover.

The day before yesterday was my follow-up checkup with my OB and we were told about the lab results. We were basically told ahead of time that along with the surgery, she will be conducting some tests to really find out whether it really is a molar pregnancy or a real miscarriage. She confirmed hydatidiform mole and thank goodness that those cluster of tissues found in my uterus are benign. She informed us that the case is very rare with unspecified reasons but this doesn't mean that I won't be able to conceive again or that something is wrong with both my husband and I. She affirmed that I'm perfectly healthy, and I would definitely bear another baby, it's just that during this time, the fertilized egg isn't viable to become a fetus and so a molar pregnancy. Unfortunately, I would need to go through series of blood tests until my hcg level goes back to zero. This means, more blood will be taken from me and of course, we have to wait for like 3-6 months before we could actually plan again to have a baby.

Now, here I am, waiting and anticipating for better days to come. I'm just blessed (and really thankful) to be surrounded with such an amazing husband and a caring family. If you're asking though, emotionally, I'm getting there.

Unplanted Seed

I have been in the US settling in for over two months now. I moved here and left my beloved career in the UAE to build a new exciting life with my family. I couldn't say it has always been my dream to grow old and have a family of my own. Call me crazy or even a hypocrite but in all honesty, I really did not. But here I am, as lucky as I can be, provided with one -- a loving happy family.

My husband and I were blessed enough to plant a seed made of love in just a short period of time. I remember how ecstatic I was when I saw positive signs from the two home pregnancy test I purchased. Immediately that morning when my husband woke up, I informed him about this good news. His face (which is quite groggy because of sleep intoxication) beamed and you can spot traces of happiness all around.

Then the usual routine came all along: finding a good OB/GYN around, minimizing coffee intake, being careful with all house activities, reading, meditating, and so on.

We then scheduled for the first visit with the OB/GYN to have an accurate feedback and a verification of our pregnancy. After some random urine and blood tests, it was finally confirmed and we were told we're pregnant at 6 weeks. Yey! With all these news, I was sent out pamphlets about hospital rules and some pregnancy information. I started to take pre-natal meds prescribed by my doctor and was scheduled for initial ultrasound after two weeks. In short, I lived the normal pregnant life. It wasn't my first time to be in this kind of situation as I already have a 9-year old daughter. But this time seems to feel a bit strange as I've been intermittently experiencing some light spotting though I don't feel any kind of pain. As researchers by heart, my husband and I kept on reading some articles or medical reviews and forums that relates to what I'm experiencing. Most write-ups are kind of reassuring as most pregnant women experience some light spotting in their first trimester. Basically, neither of those we have read are good nor bad. And so, anxiously, we just waited for the scheduled ultrasound and wiped off those negative thoughts from our heads.

Two weeks passed by, it's ultrasound time -- and this is where my world just start to shatter. I went through trans-vaginal ultrasound and by looking at the monitor, I started to feel uneasy. When I opened a conversation asking where's the baby, the nurse conducting the ultrasound seemed to be tight-lipped while the other supporting nurse has a blank face. Once it's done, the nurse informed me that my doctor will be with me shortly and apologized that he was ordered not to say anything.

I can feel that something is just plainly wrong but we still held our hopes so high. Then we were called by our OB and that's when she explained that she's so worried about me and that she cannot seem to find any fetus in my uterus -- which is kind of weird knowing I'm already in my 8th week. My hcg level is extremely high, higher than the normal range of hcg for an 8-week pregnant. Placenta is in place but there isn't just any seed of life in there. She suspected of a molar pregnancy as she found some grape-like thingy in my uterus. Molar pregnancy in layman's term is an undeveloped fetus. Instead of a normal fertilization, what's developing in the woman's uterus is some cluster of abnormal tissue that are grape-like. It is said to be rare, only 1 out of 1,000 women experience this.

With this shocking result, I became unstoppable and started to ask gazillion of questions but then I ended up sobbing. I just couldn't believe this is happening! With all the physical and emotional changes that I've been through. After accepting the fact that this is the right time to add sunshine to our lives. We were denied of it. And oh, what's worst is that according to the unusual lab results, I am still pregnant and so my OB, without any hesitation, discussed and advised that I should go for a D&C (dilation and curettage) surgery. It is a procedure to remove some tissue in your uterus, avoiding any possible infection or cancer threats, and of course, to really figure out why such thing happened to me. Since I'm still continuously spotting, there isn't really any choice for me but to say yes for this surgery.

I guess life is just like that. We can never choose what should happen to our lives. As we wait for my OB to finalize the schedule of my surgery, here we are mourning and trying to accept this pain-in-the-soul situation.

Xioms' First Day at School in Murray

Today was Xioms' first day at school here in Murray under Murray Independent School District (MISD). She's now in 3rd grade which is still in elementary, but yes you're right, time just went by like a whoosh! It was just like yesterday when I first held her in my arms and sing her lullabies every night to sleep. Oh well...

Xioms now a Tiger! Rawr!

Honestly, both Vlad and I are so excited but a bit scared for her. This is way outside her comfort zone. We are new in town, we do not know anyone, and the school system is far different from what we have back home in the Philippines. But we were assured by the school principal as well as Xioms' adviser that she will surely enjoy and would easily blend in with the crowd. Well, they're right. Xioms seems to be happy when we picked her up after school and was so excited for tomorrow's class. Whew!

So, that's it for now. Hoping for a fun and productive year for my not-so-little munchkin! Toodles!

x

Best Birthday (so far)

I'm the luckiest homo sapien in the world! Today isn't only about celebrating the day of my existence but also rejoicing being with such an amazing, loving family.

My husband planned on a week-long mid-west road trip birthday celebration for me. Our planned route would be Kentucky-Illinois-Missouri-Nebraska-Iowa-South Dakota-Wyoming-Colorado-Kansas-Kentucky. I know it's gonna be tiring and insane but I'm telling you, it's full of exploration and excitement! We're currently on a stop here at Wyoming and off in the next few hours to Colorado. Man, driving in Wyoming is a shocker (in a very good way)! I promise to blog all about the places we passed and stopped by in full detail but for now, I better get my butt ready for the wilderness ahead of me.

This year is just extra special. I get to age another year physically with my husband and my daughter. Cheers for a happy life, and oh, happy 33rd birthday to me. Ta-ta!

x

Au Revoir Sandpit!

I'm done with packing and now all set.

I mean, this is it -- my last few hours day in sandpit. I would be hypocrite to say I'm ready. Physically, yes but emotionally, maybe or maybe not. It's not that I don't want to leave. I'm itching to leave and actually have all the reasons to leave. As much as I love and have been attached with Abu Dhabi, particularly with my job, sadly, I have to move on. I guess nothing really lasts forever. Eventually, esp for the sake of our own growth and happiness, we have to make the right decisions in life. Decisions that would put your family first above anything else.

Sandpit has been good to me. I remember perfectly when I first set foot in UAE -- I was full of ambition, courage, and hope. There sure are loads of hurdles, but these hurdles shaped me, sorta defines who I am today. I wouldn't change a single thing as all experiences, good and bad, are definitely worth it!

I will miss my studio apartment... err prolly not! I will miss walking along Corniche. I will miss calling Baqala. I will miss getting pissed because of bad apartment maintenance. I will miss attending concerts with few audience. I will miss hearing prayer call 5x a day everyday. I will miss driving along nice roads. I will miss Maroosh. I will miss the rotisserie kind-of-heat during summer. I will miss PJs and Coopers. I will miss 12am food delivery calls. I will miss my office, my my... I have such an amazing messy office! I will miss my friends. List goes on and on.

Anyway, as I contemplate, watch the clock, and prepare myself to bid adieu for now (without weeping, of course not!), I just want to share how thankful I am for such an amazing journey sandpit has given. I will forever cherish all those sweet and bitter moments deep in my heart. This will be my last blog from the UAE. I'm out!

x

Our Intimate, Minimalist and Contemporary Destination Wedding in Hong Kong

It's been almost two months since Vlad and I exchanged our vows in front of a civil celebrant and our family. I've been receiving comments from friends saying that our wedding is so beautiful, that it was simple yet very elegant. People keep on thinking how we managed to pull it off so gracefully with both of us not looking so stressed while staying (separately) at the convenience of our very own home. Honestly, destination weddings aren't that simple to pull off but with proper budget and planning, nothing will ever go wrong. Of course you must take into account the size of the people whom you want to be part of your special day. Some say the smaller the number, the easier it will be -- which is totally wrong! I would always want to think that the smaller the number of invitees, the harder it is to manage. But if you think about it, it is wayyyy better to be surrounded by people whom you love (and who loves you back) than with gazillion of people you don't even know/like. Just keep reading and I'll tell you what I actually mean by this. And so, for those brides-to-be out there, allow me to share with you our wedding preparation where you could prolly get some tips on how to nail down a destination wedding.

So right from the planning stage, both my husband and I wanted our wedding to be as simple as possible. We wanted it exclusive, minimalist and modern. Truth be told that both of us aren't really fans of big weddings or let me just be a little bit blunt and this is what I meant about the importance of the number of invitees that I mentioned earlier -- we neither want any drama nor a circus-type of wedding. By no means I'm targeting anyone here, all I'm saying is that this is OUR personal choice. Everyone is entitled to have their own interpretation of a "dream wedding", it's just that for us, this is what we want and we were so happy of the outcome!

My husband and I have been planning our lives together for quite some time and frankly speaking, I never thought these plans would turn into a reality so fast until the day he knelt down on his knees and lured me with this sparkly elegant brilliant-cut diamond ring. Haha! No, kidding aside, my husband is a very responsible, organized, loving, and caring man. We discussed everything we would do and wanted to do for our wedding. Please do not think that we chose to have a destination wedding to avoid inviting people. First and foremost, we do not intend to (and don't need to) invite anyone aside from our immediate family. Second, it's the middle ground for both our families. Third, this is the fastest and easiest place to ever get legally married (as far as I know) as there ain't bureaucratic BSness in terms of any paperwork! Lastly, it is one of my favorite place in the world and I would love our family and Vlad to experience it.

So yeah, after the 2015 New Year, I head off to Hong Kong to file for a notice to get married (I should probably create a blog about this experience and its logistics) and scout for wedding vendors. I mentioned earlier that destination weddings aren't that simple to pull off, but I guess I would now beg to differ. It was actually fun and acceptably easy -- well, at least based on our experience. I think the only problem I encountered, which is pretty minor, is how the heck will I travel my wedding gown from Abu Dhabi to Hong Kong, but everything else came, if not perfect, at least right into place.

It's kind of amazing how fast we actually evolved in terms of trading. Everything we did, apart from me going personally there to meet with the civil celebrant lawyer and submit a notice of marriage, was through email interaction. We owe everything to the world wide web! It sounds a little scary especially for those OC people like me but hey, we really cannot control everything and as far as I could remember, I kind of accepted the fact that it's totally okay if not all your wedding plans would work out. You won't die and it's not the end of the world! One good example is that we haven't really ever thought about the weather when we booked an al fresco ceremony venue. When I saw this "garden-like" venue in Wan Chai, I immediately fell in love with it and without any hesitation, I booked it and told myself, "This place is perfect, Vlad will surely love it too and we should get married here, NOW!" Kidding! So fast forward, a month before our wedding where all decoration plans have been discussed and settled, we found out from numerous forecasts that it will be raining on our special day. I was horrified at first but then again, we were lucky enough booking this Mira Moon Hotel who is up and ready for Plan B. The hotel manager informed us that the opposite side of this al fresco venue has a similar garden-type touch and it is fully-covered. Whew, what a relief! But then, how truly blessed are we? Well, this relocation Plan B didn't happen as the bright blue sky greeted us when we woke up on the day of our wedding and granted us the most beautiful weather Hong Kong has ever had during the past few weeks at that time - so far as locals say.

Now in terms of colors, our color theme came out of nowhere. In my mind, I will wear the simplest (and cheapest) ivory-colored flowy laced gown that is available out there. The real challenge for me here is our family -- what am I going to request for them to wear? I want us all to look stunning in pictures! So I've been searching around and I came to see some posts over Pinterest about Pantone which is really good at matching colors! After seeing the 2016 Pantone Color of the Year, I assigned particular colors for everyone. I wanted for my two flower girls to have a matching lace dress so I took the initiative of having theirs tailored. I personally picked and bought the fabrics which (mind you) isn't gonna be cheaper comparing to just buying a ready-made, but you would get a chance of choosing the design you want and kind of rectify it to have your own personal touch. For the ladies, apart from assigning the colors, I requested for their dresses to be in any kind of design that they feel comfortable with but should not be longer than below their knees and that it should have some touches of lace. For men, well this one's no-brainer! Trousers and white long-sleeve shirt with bow tie looks very clean and modern which would definitely go well with a garden-type wedding. Of course I wanted Vlad to stand-out too so I requested for him to wear a rose quartz bow tie with suspenders and khaki trousers while the two gents will wear serenity bow ties and dark grey trousers.

Now in terms of wedding vendors, as I mentioned earlier, all transactions are through email exchanges and wire transfers, right from our very talented photographer to the perfect Hong Kong reception any couples would ever dream of!

Fact: almost everything in Hong Kong is quite pricey but definitely worth it (so be a bit lenient and don't fret).

Photography

After reading a lot of blogs from other brides, if not the food for the reception, couples should really spend their money for photography during their wedding. Well, think about the famous line, "A picture is worth a thousand words". True that, so Vlad and I agreed to have a professional photographer who will shoot candid moments during our wedding. Just so you know, my husband and I are sorta private human beings and we don't like the usual "behind the scenes" or those "everything is needed to be captured" kind of photos. We just asked for a simple, on the spot, and natural ones. And so we found this photographer through web searches and we instantly love all of his work from his website, plus his rate card is just the regular rate for most Hong Kong photographers. We only met him a day before our wedding day and he understood and delivered exactly what we wanted. Our photos came out absolutely amazing and very natural! He captured most of the moments that we will forever treasure. Wanna take a peek?

Venues

Enable to get legally married in Hong Kong through a civil celebrant, Hong Kong government is requiring at least one of the marrying parties to go physically there and file a notice of marriage. This notice takes a maximum of two months to be approved. Once approved, law firm will notify the couple which includes a draft of the marriage certificate with the name of the civil celebrant who will conduct the marriage ceremony. Civil celebrants are lawyers who are authorized to provide religious or non-religious marriages. In our case, we Vlad did an extensive research about the civil marriage process in Hong Kong and found out that hiring the services of a law firm who will process most of the paperwork is much easier. After one of the marrying parties sign the petition and pay the necessary fees, the law firm will now do all the leg work. In addition, law firms across Hong Kong are also equipped with ceremony-themed venues to choose from where couples would exchange their vows once petition has been finalized, scheduled, and approved. So before reaching Hong Kong, my mind is already set with this one particular law firm in Wan Chai and then I would just go around to find a nice restaurant nearby that offers private dining for our reception. When I got back to the hotel I'm staying, the hotel manager told me that we could actually pick other venues (with extra fee) outside those law firm's 4-walled rooms! Great! This trip was an advantage after all. Now I can freely select our venue! Since I happen to befriend this hotel manager, he approached me over dinner to talk about some of their available venues for our wedding ceremony and reception. You see, Hong Kong is well-known for its scenic Victoria Harbour, my husband and I have been talking about to at least book a reception with a view of the harbour. The moment the hotel manager showed me their Oasis Garden and Club House from The Gloucester, I was totally bought! These venues are just right and perfect for us. I couldn't contain myself and immediately said yes to both venues! Oasis Garden looks spacious and homey while Club House's panoramic view of the harbour from the 45th floor is breathtaking! Not to mention that both these venues are just a minute away by foot from the hotel we plan to stay.

Oasis Garden 1

Oasis Garden 1

Club House

Catering
What is a hotel without any catering services, right? Since we booked our venues from Mira Moon Hotel, it would be much easier for us to also book their catering services. The hotel manager showed us different set menus (including children menus) and their specialty is Spanish cuisine. So we picked a 4-course meal with a 3-hour open bar service.

Dinner Menu

Kid's Menu

Hair and Makeup
I mean I have to admit, I'm not against makeup but I don't like wearing them. For me, it's time consuming and needs a lot of hard work although special occasions like this, I guess I have to suck it all up. Haha.. sounds like a torture! But honestly, I'm very thankful I did hire a professional makeup artist and hair stylist -- it saved all the "girly" hassle. I love how I turned out to be, natural and blooming! Nakkssss. I found out about this Hong Kong-based MUA that has a lot of good reviews from, where else, the internet! Sassy Hong Kong is a good start to search for anything related to weddings, and that's where I read about good MUA in Hong Kong and picked Kalamakeup. At first, I was skeptical to hire their service because the main MUA herself wasn't available on the day of my wedding. Though she highly recommended her next-in-line MUA and oh boy, she's a real artist! I only had a chance to personally meet her 2 days before my big day to have a makeup and hair trial which is basically included in the price you're gonna pay.

Makeup and hair style trial

Flowers and Decor
From all the vendors we hired, I believe it's all about the flowers and decoration that we had numerous interactions with, and they have been very very patient. Remember my Pantone color theme? Well, this is where I want to see most of those colors. I only want to see rose quartz, serenity, white and black colors. I even made a doodle art on how I envision the wedding ceremony venue should look like. The Oasis Garden is already beautiful as it is - open area, greens around, stoned tables, water stone landscape, etc. It just needs a little touch of colors and flower designs.

Flower pillars

Flower petals

Table flower

Lace design

Clips for polaroids

Sample polaroid

Bridal bouquet

Boutonniere and corsage design

Guest chair

Doodled venue design

Cake
It has been a tradition for most weddings to have a wedding cake. They say a wedding cake with good quality ingredients symbolizes a long-lasting, rich, and happy marriage. Okay, I don't believe in that but of course, as a bride-to-be, I wanted to have a cake on my wedding and I seriously looked for a good baker to provide us a simple and yummy one-tier cake with few cupcakes. Although there has been a bit of a problem with our cake, but what the heck?! It's still a cake -- a soft and moist beautifully-made chocolate cake and everyone (especially the kids) enjoyed it.

Cake design goal

Our actual cake :)

So that's basically it -- our own dream wedding! And we lived happily ever after. The end. :) Ta-ta!

Colors: Pantone Color of the Year 2016 - Rose Quartz and Serenity / Photographer: Kenneth Lim Photography / Venue: The Gloucester, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong / Bride’s Dress: BHLDN and Leda Ladies Gown / Bride’s Shoes: Vivienne Westwood + Melissa / Groom’s Attire and Shoes: JC Penney / Hair and Makeup: Percy of Kalamakeup / Flowers and Decor: INES Weddings / Catering: Mira Moon's Supergiant Tapas and Cocktail Bar / Cake: Since Rm 1409

A Short Never-ending Love Story

It will take me forever to write down every piece of information and beautiful memories from my brain so I'll make it short and concise, I promise.

Vlad and I recently got married in Hong Kong. When I say recent, it's like just almost three weeks ago, that's the 25th of March 2016. T'was an exclusive family-only ceremony and celebration. Both of us have a very private persona and we dreamt our wedding to be this way. It was simple. It was intimate. It was perfect!

Our love story is quite boring. We are from totally different worlds -- he's a Ukranian (but a real Russian by heart) and I'm a Filipino. I'm not sure though if Philippines exists in his world before he actually met me, probably, probably not. We met in the beautiful Emirate of Abu Dhabi, UAE, he's a professor and I'm an admin staff in a university. I remember the first time I saw him, he seems to be a serious, deep, snobbish-type. Well actually, he is and these are just some of his qualities that I like.

It all started at work. What else could be boring than a love affair at work? Well, bear with me please. I slid a paperwork for him to be done under his office door and after a couple of days, he returned it with his calling card underlining his personal mobile phone. Hmmm... such confidence, eh?! Haha... I can't recall if I called him or not but that definitely opened a new door for both of us. A door full of wonderful things. And oh, I still keep that piece of calling card till now :)

Our first date is a disaster. He ended up walking out because of my kinda strong personality. I'm like f*ck it, who needs a relationship these days anyway? Been there, done that. But for sure it didn't just end there. Details on that day were kinda blurry but as time goes by, we learned that we are a team, perfect for each other. Opposites attract as they say though we have the same goals and dreams and hopes in life.

We've been together for over 5 years before he popped the $1 million question. I undoubtedly said YES! He is the man of my dreams and now, here we are - happily married and madly in love.

xo, P

Legally a Mrs. Krotova

Today is THE DAY!

Woke up this morning feeling sooooo good! A new chapter of my life is about to begin and I'm showered with happiness and I'm filled with hope. Hong Kong has been crying for the past weeks but today, at this very special day, the sky opened up and greeted us with a warm sunny smile.

Victoria Harbour

We've been itching to walk down the aisle together to legally say our I dos, and here you go, it's finally official!

x