Unspecified Hydatidiform Mole

I'm currently over a week recuperating from a dilation and curettage (D&C) surgery. It was actually my first time to go under any sort of surgery and I now feel a bit better, physically at least.

It was just a week ago when I was allegedly diagnosed of a molar pregnancy. It was a shocking experience but my husband and I are trying our best to accept and embrace this fate of life. Maybe it wasn't really meant to be this time.

The surgery was scheduled on the 12th of September. Although I was assured that I neither would feel anything nor even see what's gonna happen, oh boy, it feels so daunting! I wouldn't say I'm a scared rat, in fact, my tolerance for pain is so high but the fact that I would be under general anesthesia - it scares the hell out of me. I feel powerless and not in control! But heck, I don't have any other choice anyway! I don't want to end up regretting of not feeling safe and healthy later on and besides, I'm in the facility with the best doctors in the world.

I've used up my little time to research about the surgery procedure, its risks, and its aftermath. Doing this will make me a bit comfortable and ready. So the surgery day came and I was taken care of really well. It was actually a short procedure (less than an hour) and I was able to head home (with my husband's help of course!) after being in the hospital for more or less 5 hours. Waiting period is the worst part actually. This is the time where all negative scenarios seeps into someone's head. I was lucky enough to have my husband around the whole time. He's the best husband ever! But I have this feeling that he's more nervous than I am although he's not showing it.

I was scheduled to be at the hospital at 9AM and I remember perfectly that I wasn't injected any anesthesia until almost 11AM. The only thing I remembered before passing out are those numerous surgical lighting system above me and those two nurses asking me ridiculous questions about my time in Abu Dhabi.

When I woke up, I saw this nurse beside me, checking some of those apparatus around. I feel so cold and my throat is so sore. I asked where I was and the nurse told me that I'm now in the recovery room. She knew I was cold and asked whether I wanted to have additional blanket on top of the two that are already in place. I said yes and she wrapped me with a thick warm one. After few more minutes, the nurse asked random questions like when is my birthday and then moved me back to the main room where I was initially. I saw my husband and his face looked relieved. The nurse asked me if I wanted a drink. She even offered me a Sprite. I never liked Sprite but I asked for it. Then she told me that I can be out of my gown and could change clothes whenever I feel I can and that she'll be back to bring me my Sprite. Eventually, I changed clothes (with my husband's help of course) and I've never felt so weak and confused at the same time at that moment. I feel groggy but I know what I'm doing. When the nurse came back, she has a wheelchair with her. At first, I'm skeptical to ride it. I told her I can walk but she didn't allow me. I guess it's standard procedure so I just complied with some sort of hesitation.

Then we're home and that's the start of the most unproductive week of my life. I had felt an intense cramping pain that night but other than that, I was lucky to feel minor tolerable cramps after. My OB prescribed me the best meds to relieve such pain! I was in a complete bed rest for at least a week and have been eating hearty soups and crackers (and peanut butter milkshakes) all the time. These days suck but I needed them to fully recover.

The day before yesterday was my follow-up checkup with my OB and we were told about the lab results. We were basically told ahead of time that along with the surgery, she will be conducting some tests to really find out whether it really is a molar pregnancy or a real miscarriage. She confirmed hydatidiform mole and thank goodness that those cluster of tissues found in my uterus are benign. She informed us that the case is very rare with unspecified reasons but this doesn't mean that I won't be able to conceive again or that something is wrong with both my husband and I. She affirmed that I'm perfectly healthy, and I would definitely bear another baby, it's just that during this time, the fertilized egg isn't viable to become a fetus and so a molar pregnancy. Unfortunately, I would need to go through series of blood tests until my hcg level goes back to zero. This means, more blood will be taken from me and of course, we have to wait for like 3-6 months before we could actually plan again to have a baby.

Now, here I am, waiting and anticipating for better days to come. I'm just blessed (and really thankful) to be surrounded with such an amazing husband and a caring family. If you're asking though, emotionally, I'm getting there.