Monday, December 24, 2012

Dim Christmas


It's almost Christmas eve and here I am sitting on my bed writing this blog post. I was about to experience one of the best holiday with a very special person yet for some insignificant reason, all the bliss just completely vanished.

Why?

Maybe I was really trying so hard competing with time. Maybe I always make myself available every time I am needed. Maybe I am wrong expressing my affection through words. Maybe I should stop being silent whenever I am disappointed and pretend everything is okay and that I am all okay. I think I should change MUST CHANGE because being like this hurts so bad that you will be accused as a demanding and negatively cold as a stone, easy-going fake culprit.

I couldn't explain what or how I feel at this very moment. I wanna cry but tears doesn't want to come out. I feel like any moment am gonna burst and the whole world will explode. This is so fucking soul-hurt, like a knife stabbed straight to your heart kind of hurt.


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