28th

Today is my birthday and I did not wake up feeling regretful about it. I used to always think I am getting older whenever the first day of my birth month starts. Perhaps there are certain things in life that you feel you have not accomplished but what the heck? I still got a lot more years to do that. Besides, I'm pretty sure I am heading the right path and really doing well. I've realised that one cannot possibly do or get everything she wants in life and that’s quite okay. I know the best and happiest days of my life are still yet to come, as well as my wealthiest days. :)

The older I get the better life seems to get for me. I personally feel that age is a state of mind. If you feel that you are getting old, that’s what will happen to you. I have heard a few people telling that they feel they are getting old before their time, that life is passing them by and there is nothing that they can do about it. That's BULLSHIT. You can change things with a wee bit of effort, the right attitude and a positive outlook on life - it'll do wonders I must say.

My life is a crazy journey but it has been great! Another year is just a reminder that I still have an incomplete mission in life - there's still so much to do and by that, I better get the hell on with it.

So, happy 28th to me and cheers everyone!

Much adoe about Nothing

As I browsed the net over boringness, I read a post by someone which stopped me and made me think a little. Here goes: "It hurts to see someone you love ignoring you, it also hurts to see that (s)he doesn't feel your love. But it hurts even more to know that (s)he loves you too, and just doesn't want you to know."

What the heck? Seriously, I don't understand why people hold such very important thing of their lives. For me, if you love someone, let that person know not just by showing them through your acts but also by words. Talk is cheap I know but wouldn't it be nice if it's a combo? Life is short.

Now, if you show/tell the person how much you love them, mean it and never expect anything in return. Remember that love has nothing to do with what you get, only with what you are expecting to give which I personally think is EVERYTHING.

Her Clueless Love (Ending)

Every beginning really has an ending. Lucky you if you have a sweet and happy final chapter. Well, this story doesn't have.

She was only given almost seven months and for her, those days were blissfully great. It all started when she met this very unusual and difficult man. They became not so close friends by days then got very intimate in less than a month. After some time they became close but not so close that a person would know his/her deepest and darkest secrets in life. The funny thing is they are completely opposite, to the point that they always have small and big arguments though they jive anyway.

This guy made her feel extra special by spending a lot of time with her, giving her gifts, telling her his future plans (which sometimes includes her) and so on. She finally end up to be like a fish that had been caught by a fisherman, though she maintains her values, point of views and position in life. For her, she's been there, done that. She felt confused, a bit insecure, weird and suspicious of this thing; but deep down inside her, she felt good.. really good.

Then one day, she received the three-letter word that a person rarely say. She believed in that. Since, she felt it was real that she did threw it back to him through actions and words. They were happy - at least, that's what she thought.

On the 193rd day, it all ended. It was very abrupt. She tried questioning him about this but all his answers were like a puzzle that no one could ever fix. She sensed that she's being ignored and worst, being avoided. Every minute she asked herself why? She gave him 1..2..3..4 days to explain but she was given nothing. She quietly told herself that she lost him. But the fact hits her - he was never hers so she didn't lose the man.

Now, she tries to embrace the sadness. Being a strong woman, she knows what to do. This is her cue to STOP.

They say, "Tears washes our hurts away. It is a personal healing that is natural to our humanity." The problem is - tears aren't coming out of her eyes. Does this mean hurt will haunt her forever? Soul-hurt. Love sucks.

Her Clueless Love Part 2

There she goes again, letting this guy steal every love that has been left in her. As she knows pretty sure this ain't gonna work, still she's holding on to it. Being hanged in any love situation sucks. She wishes to get tripped on a period enable for this to stop. Well, as one famous song say, "it ain't over till it's over". Ahhh love. They say it is one of the best feelings you'll ever feel; on the contrary, not to her.

She completely knows what to do, but in whatever way, she's not doing it. Hoping that one day, some cupid will strike a bow at him and will penetrate his heart. She knows the possibility, she just doesn't have the patience to wait. And the funny thing is, she keeps on denying to the world that she's falling.

A day not seeing him was like a hell and whenever there is a chance to be with him she hopes that time will stop. 

TBC...

Soul-Hurt

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

Her Clueless Love

They went out on the very first time last December and something happened. She don't know him, he don't know her but it all started there. At first, she thought it was nothing. She's been into a failed relationship that made her strong and numb. For her, all boys are the same. But each day passed and made her realised she's selfish and maybe she's wrong on what she believed in.

Everyday this guy proves her wrong. He makes a point that he sends caring or even knowledgable messages every minute and every hour. It is a must for him that they meet at least once or twice a week and be with each other the whole time. He cracks silly and crazy jokes that made her laugh though some of it were not funny at all. He once managed to make an agenda for the whole day and woke her up early morning for a swim and bike ride. And so on.. He wasn't a talker or a sweet guy; and to her, he wasn't perfect at all. That's who he is. And she liked it.

One day, she started to think of what's happening between them. She thought of giving this guy a shot even though he never asked anything from her. He did say before the 8 letters, 3 words that made her off-guard but that was the first and the last she have ever heard those lines.

After some time, they've been arguing over nothing. The next day, they are okay again. To her, t'was tiring but she still keep it all alive. She's very good in forgiving and just let all things go but she never forgets. On the other hand, he is very good on kissing and making up but really bad on hints and acceptance. There was this one day that the girl felt something she never thought of coming. She's falling. Being brave, she let him know about this. But to him, t'was all some sort of a drama as he doesn't believe on anything--as what he always say. She was just curious on what he feels. He is unbelievable and very hard to read. Still, they go along with that same routine; not as hot as what they have before, but same old routine.

At this point in time, everything's still a big question for her. Who, what and where they are right now, she don't even know.

TBC...

4 in 1

It's been sooooo long since I last posted. Oh well, sandpit keeps me self busy. So, where should I start?

December 2010

This month has been very good to me. A lot of work, yes but loads of good times too. This is the month where it all started. I will not give any details about that, sorry. Let's just leave it like that.

Anyway, have I said that this was my first time to celebrate Xmas and New Year alone? Not alone, literally.. what I mean is away from my family. But you know I realised one thing - It's good to be far away from your loved ones, by that you will miss more and care more. Hmmmm... :)

So, Xmas. Tin and Reggie celebrated it at home; me, on the other hand, celebrated it at Sheraton. I was invited by office friends and I guess we all had fun. And the rest is history.

New Year. This is I can say, fabulous! We (Tin, Reggie and I) celebrated it the way we planned and wanted. We cooked our fair share of dinner and after that, we went out clubbing with friends. And as usual, the rest is history. :)

January 2011

I experienced the most lonely days of my life in this month. Tin and Reggie went to the Philippines for vacay and I was left all alone here at sandpit. Actually, there's nothing much to talk about this month aside from being boring and lonely. Gah!

February 2011

New place, new home. Finally, I got rid of the excess baggage of my life. This month I realised that not all people will be nice or true to you and even if they are (in front of you), you're wrong. So my advice to myself and to you who's reading this is to watch your back a bit more.

Also, as you are aware, this month is a LOVE month. Yeah right. Well, nothing so special happened to me as I am busy as bee at work. That's a good thing I guess.

March 2011

Oh March! This has been a pain in the ass month for me. Too much work to the point of me giving up. Nah.. I don't think I would give up. I am used to working really hard. Sometimes I think God will punish me for living and working so hard. But I enjoy it most specially if all your efforts are recognised. So, I guess March is fine.

What else? Well, I don't know if I'm in the position or if I'm about to discuss my love life here. Guess not since I don't have any or should I say, I don't want to assume on anything. It's up to YOU.

Toodles!