Hello 30!

It's almost midnight and I'm almost 30. Truth is, I don't know if I'll freak out or just accept the fact that I really am that old. This-very-moment sucks, BIG TIME! Sitting outside my balcony, hearing how busy the street while celebrating the eve of my birthday (alone) by drinking a bottle of beer makes me wonder, contemplate on life and write this blog.

In the past 29 years of my existence I must say I've been a lucky person. Lucky enough to still be in a normal state of mind, having a decent job, money to spend, very supportive family, and a loving kid to raise. I won't say I can't ask for more because there are so freaking much to ask. I'm ambitious, I tell you. I'll be lying if I'll say I'm not. I guess this is human nature. We all can't be satisfied on whatever it is on our plate.

When I was 26 I told myself "I'll be a millionaire when I reach 30!" That... didn't happen. Nevertheless, I am happy on where I am and where will I be. Okay, maybe not that happy but someone once told me, there are a lot more better things that's gonna happen in my life. I was quite skeptical to believe that. I have loads of things on my mind that I wanna do, that I wanna accomplish (career-wise) but there are also gazillion of reasons that I'm being held to do that. Reasons that I can easily bend but with sacrifices.

Love life? I'm trying not to get into that but I know you know how juicy this is to talk about. Well, for almost 3 years I thought I have one or at least HAD someone to trust my stone-cold heart with; apparently, I'm still a sucker in terms of lurve: naive, easy to manipulate and helpless. I now doubt the saying, "Actions speak louder than words." As far as my honest opinion is concerned, all men are exactly the same. They'll give you the moon and stars, you'll hear them say all the sweetest poems in the world but it all goes down to their one true intention - they'll break you into pieces. Tear your life, and worst, your heart apart. Love is such a joke. A delusional thing!

Yeah, yeah, I guess 30 is hitting me hard though I have all the reasons to be thankful for and be satisfied with. I should prolly give credit to those people who hated me, people who accused and judged me of what I'm not and people who bullied and mocked me - without these implicit stereotypes around, my life will be boring as hell. So, thank you a-holes!

Okay, enough of the pathetic lamentation and sentiments. My blog says, "Hello 30!" Should I challenge it? Definitely! Despite of struggling events happened I wanna be hopeful. Good things do come from the bad times. So cheers and hello 30!