Hard Habit to Break

I woke up today and surprisingly... I feel a LOT better.

And I can honestly say that YES, I AM OKAY.

The 2-day break gave me a chance to sit down and think of what just happened and I realized that this was exactly what I wanted for so long. So who am I to complain?

I just got used to things that way, and now that things are different, I have to get myself together and adjust.

And now that I come to think of it, bad as it may sound, it was NEVER real. THANK GOD!

It's just a hard habit to break. But I'll get there for sure.

Darating din ang karma. SOON! Bwahaha!

Reality Bites... HARD

Reality has its way of biting you on the ass when you least expect it. It has its sneaky way of catching you at your most off-guarded moment. Damn... it got me. And it did get me hard.

A lot of overwhelming changes have been happening in my life lately. I know that there are indeed a lot of things that I should be happy and thankful for, don’t get me wrong, I am delighted and grateful. It’s just that it all came too fast. Again, overwhelming.

I haven’t really been bad at coping with change. In fact, I think I know how to adjust pretty well. Somehow, over the years, I’ve learned how to manage changes that have been occurring. But then again, this is a totally unfamiliar ground for me. The others are nothing compared to this one. This is big... no... this is HUGE.

Why do I sound so unsure? I’m not actually hesitant about the decision I’ve made. I’m happy with that, without a doubt. It’s another thing that scares me. The realm of the unknown... that’s what’s so daunting. Hehehe...

I just don’t want to screw up. I don’t want to make a mistake that I can’t undo or at least fix. I know... I know... I shouldn’t think about this too much. I should just be the forever optimist. But man, I can’t help it! I’m human... very pretty human haha! I have the right to get intimidated too. I have the right to be petrified. I have the right to panic.

*sigh* This better stop. I know for a fact that even if I rant on and on, it won’t change a thing. No matter how long this entry is, no matter how much time I spend on pondering on this dismay that I have, things will remain as is.

Now, all I think of is that life is a gamble. Damn right it is! You have to learn how to take risks. You gotta be ready to lose small in order to win big. You gotta bet all that you have to ultimately get what you want.

I've been gambling all my life. In that sense, mind you... taking risks, losing, winning, calling bluffs and unfortunately, being a victim of numerous bluffs.

Gawd... I sound like a recovering addict. Well, come to think of it... maybe I am. Harharhar! Toodles!